you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
