OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
