so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
