i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
