fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
