I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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