we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
