Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
