stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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