To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
