I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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