Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's shark week go big or go home
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
