I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just found a bag of teeth...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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