Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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