we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
