Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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