I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
