At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
