my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't deserve a penis
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
