The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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