so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
