even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
