Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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