I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
