apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
