You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
