Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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