You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
