Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
