If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
