Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
