No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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