I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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