She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
