she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize