omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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