Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
