Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh god it's open bar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
