well I can't set my house on fire every night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
