Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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