marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I could make wine with my vomit
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
