with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
