he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
