the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
this hospital has no fireball
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
