Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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