I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
