Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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