it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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