He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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