Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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