thus making me awesome and them whores
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
