I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
